Hard Days...

I know it's been a while since I've updated. Things have been kinda crazy in our lives lately. We are back home for the time being, but not of our own free will. In the midst of looking for a new direction for our lives to take, my aunt has become very ill. I know that this is usually "ALL ABOUT JACEE", but today I have something very different on my mind. I hope you will bare with me as I write down my thoughts today. Aunt Frankie and I have always been close. Ever since I was a little girl she ws the one I could go to and know she would help me to talk it out and make a desicion. (Along with a lecture. Hee Hee) I fully expected and honestly enjoyed our talks, lectures included. We used to go to my Nini's house and sit around the table to "discuss" how things I was doing needed to go. Isn't it funny how our parents can tell us the same thing numerous times, and it never gets thru but another person, who is slightly out if the circle can get us to fully understand it all? Thats kind of how it felt as a child. Frankie could tell me the same things as mom and daddy but her thoughts I was much more apt to listen to and take to heart. As I grew up, that never changed. No matter what decisions I made in my life, good or bad, she always stood behind me. I'm not saying that she always agreed wit me, but she never put me down for a bad choice either. Daddy always said that was because we were so much alike. We are both middle children with an older sister and younger brother. We were also both rebals growing up. We didn't always play by the rules and we both learned about paying the price fpr some of those actions. Aunt Frankie is hands down the strongest person I know. She has been faced with overwhelming odds more times than any one person should ever have to endure and she has always pulled thru. This time it seems different. She is still hanging in there and fighting, but the prognosis is not good. I know that I am selfish in wanting her to stay on this earth. I can't help that. I love her so deeply and I'm not ready to part with such a dear soul. I also know that she has to be tired. She has been fighting lymphoma for 9 1/2 years. Her body has been put to the test over and over. I know I'm rambling on, but this is how we are sometimes able to work out our feelings. I feel that maybe if I can just get it all out I might possibly understand a little better. Crazy huh? Well, I guess we all deal with our emotions differently. I hold it all in until I can't stand it, then I have a major metldown. Healthy? NO, but hey, thats me. So I guess I'll just say this, thank you for listening, or shall I say reading my ramblings. Heehee. I hope you all have a wonderfull week. Ours will be what it is and is in Gods hands now. If you are so inclined, please pray for a resolution to her pain and suffering. If it be God's will to heal her and bring her back to us, wonderfull!! However, if He has other plans for our beloved family member, then so be it and just please keep her from suffering. Again, thank you for reading and letting me ramble.